Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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