I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize