They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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