respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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