White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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