i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
