Having a random hookup so left but love u
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
