woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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