and you said cock pushups were impossible
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
