my sisters under your porch take her home
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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