Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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