There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
