No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
