I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
