The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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