When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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