I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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