I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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