The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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