My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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