Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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