Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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