Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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