glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
