remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize