did you get engaged???
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
