did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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