Dual....:-)
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
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Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
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I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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