brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
