What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
