Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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