Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
