Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
