If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
high people should be assigned attendants
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize