Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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