it's not cheating when I paid for it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
