Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were destined to go to rehab together
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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