if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
