Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my poor anus
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
