You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Randomize
