i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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