Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
