is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
