Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
