Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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