I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pants are for mortals
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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