im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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