I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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