I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
