I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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