God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
