why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize