I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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