I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
