I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
