She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
