Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
