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So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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