The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
