babies were throwing up all over the place
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I want is dick and wine.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
