He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
