I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We are all done wearing pants today
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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