i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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